jillian pig

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fuckyeah1990s:

i want cinnamon rolls. how fuckin legit would that be? like a huge cinnamon roll smothered in icing? like a freshly baked cinnamon roll, fresh out of the oven, thats what life is about, eating cinnamon rolls…

one time i was super high, and i tried baking some cinnamon rolls, and i hella burned them because i forgot i even made cinnamon rolls, like there was hella smoke, and my roommate was all “90s something is burning in the oven.” and i was like “Oh fuck, those are my cinnamon rolls, bro.” and my roommate was all “You fucking stoner. You could have burned the whole house.” and i was like “I was busy jacking off, excuse me for forgetting about some fucking cinnamon rolls, we have a smoke detector and fire extinguisher, which i bought, btw, no one is more safety concious than i am. i care about fires. when i was a kid i accidentally set myself on fire, ok? i dont fuck around. Look, air out the house, I’m going to get some more cinnamon rolls.” 

and then i burnt those too. and now im not allowed to bake things when im high or my roommate will kick me out of the house. the point of the story is, roommates are fucking lame. like, so what if you’ve accidentally burnt some stuff before, thats what happens in the kitchen, like some people just live their lives never expecting things to go wrong, but shit goes wrong all the time, and you just have to deal with it, not be a wuss thats afraid to live life… and im out

(-_-)v

(via zoomerbro)